you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
