Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
