Barsexuality is the new black.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
