Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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