i don't like sucking hair
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
