It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
