So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
