At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
