Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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