How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
