Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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