I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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