Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize