Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
