I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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