I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
