3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We have started to decorate penises.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
