Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
