Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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