She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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