He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize