Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
