dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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