Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
