My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
