so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
