Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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