it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We just shotgunned beers for America
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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