you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize