She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
