it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
