3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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