Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
