Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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