I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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