She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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