I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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