eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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