And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
