so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
