When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
