Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you win again, gameday.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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