Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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