Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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