i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
