So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
