I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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