Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
