I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
