I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
