I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
