How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
