If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
