i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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