Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
