This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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