the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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