There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize