youre lurking in front of me
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
