Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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