What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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