Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
