Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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