Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
